Jealous

I can still remember the first time I saw a Nooma video by Rob Bell. It was in a church service, and the video was "Trees". I cannot even tell you what the video was about because all I could think was something along the lines of, "Ahhhhh crap! I could have done that!" All I could think of for the entirety of the video was that it really is a great idea, and it is TOTALLY something I could have done. I really liked seeing Bradley Hathaway do what he does as a traveling poet. I would mention him to my brother a few winters ago and my brother acted unimpressed and nearly cynical at Bradley Hathaway's art. I listened to my brother rant for a short time before I said, "Wait! Do you not like Bradley Hathaway because he's doing something you could have done, but he thought of it before you?" He thought for a second and humbly surrendered, "Yeah....I think that may be it." Unless a speaker or writer really says something to make me be impressed or think differently than I had before I heard them, I am generally dismissive of them as a speaker and author. Now granted, I HAVE heard them speak somewhere before a group I was a member of. I HAVE purchased their book that at least they wrote and published. Two things I have not pursued or gone after! But something in me is dismissive and unimpressed. This thing within is jealousy. Jealousy is basically a part of you that is convinced there can only be one of something, and you are not that one. The problem lies in that most things can have more than one of them. It is possible for there to be more than one artist within whatever artistry you pursue. But that part of you that gets FRUSTRATED when someone else accomplishes something you know you can do is jealousy. Jealousy is the belief that there is only room for one. As I reflected on that today, I get frustrated with the jealousy within me because it has debilitated me from moving toward the things I know I can do. But the other reality that struck me is that I serve a jealous God. We fight the jealousy within ourselves because WE should not be a jealous people. There is room for other artists, other friends, other... But we know, as Christians, there is no room for other gods. We serve a jealous God, and that means we serve a God who believes and authoritatively states that there is only room for one of himself. There is only room for one master (because you cannot serve more than one). There is only room for one God (we cannot simply "coexist" with our many gods...though we can coexist as people). There is room for other people and all the diversity they bring, but there is room for only one God, and our God realizes that. Our God is a jealous God. ---------------- Reading: "Disciplines for the Inner Life" by Bob Benson; "The Artist's Way" by Julia Cameron Listening to: "Dark Dark Woods" by Husband & Wife; "Give Yourself Away" by Robbie Seay Band